dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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