all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
