she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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