Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
