I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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