hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
