I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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