I accidentally had phone sex last night
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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