that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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