the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
