oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
These tits shall not be calmed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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