GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
