Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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