I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
