I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
