we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
