I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
