Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
