dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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