Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
