i just had sex bonerless
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
