You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He felt like a one man threesome
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
