I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
