He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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