Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
