I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Someone signed my nipple.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
