lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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