I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
