hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
