how can u be prego again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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