I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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