I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
