Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
ok first of all what the fuck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
