So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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