You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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