is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
