Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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