sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
