Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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