Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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