I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it hurts more in the daytime
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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