I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
