Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
