I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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