Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
