Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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