paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
