i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
