TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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