Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
